I am fascinated by the concept of The 5 Love Languages.
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The idea behind the book is that there are five main ways to express and understand love. If you and a loved one understand love in different ways, you may be missing some of the ways they are showing their affection for you! This applies to romantic relationships as well as friendships and family relationships.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
People who speak this language value hearing about how much their loved ones care about them and support their dreams. They thrive on unsolicited compliments and words of support.
Quality Time
Individuals who speak this language need undivided attention. Nothing says “I love you” like a heartfelt conversation, hike in the woods, or a shared meal.
Receiving Gifts
Despite the way it sounds, this isn’t a greedy love language. People who speak this language value the thoughtfulness and effort that goes into gift giving.
Acts of Service
A person who speaks this love language would love it if you took out the garbage or ran errands without asking. They love anything you can do to help them out.
Physical Touch
This person is that touchy-feely friend that you have. The one who hugs hello and goodbye and grabs your arm with excitement. They need you to be physically present with them.
To read more about the Love Languages, visit the official website. Although you probably have an idea where you fall, you can take a quiz on the site to determine what language you speak.
Me? Words of Affirmation. This is no surprise. I love to write letters and tell the people I adore how much they mean to me. One of the most important things I did before the rehearsal dinner when Goose and I got married was write letters to my bridesmaids, parents, in-laws, and Goose. It meant so much for me to get my thoughts on paper about how important they were to me and what it meant to have them be part of my wedding day.
I’m mushy-gushy. I’m the friend that will randomly send an e-mail or note to tell someone I adore them. I’m quite certain I’ve creeped out some bloggers with my overly-emotional “thanks for writing that post” e-mails. It’s just who I am.
And that’s exactly why those kinds of gestures mean the most to me. Last summer, Goose spent three weeks in China. While he was there, I completed my first triathlon, started an internship, and began a new job. Before he left, Goose left three cards for me. Each envelope was labeled for the occasion when I needed to read it. Race Day. Internship. First Day of Work.
It was so special to me that Goose took the time to write me these notes, and I loved reading them! He even had flowers, with another little note, sent to me the day before the triathlon. Because I value those kinds of things so much, the notes meant a whole lot to me. Had he communicated his support in a different way, I may not have understood it in the same way.
Do you think these “languages” have merit? What Love Language do you speak?
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The love languages always intrigue me too. And they are so true! I am certainly a service lover. I like feelign cared for. My husband is a touch person. It’s interesting how when we figured that out it helped us show each other our love and appreciation in a more effective way. Great post!
Do you notice your children’s love languages yet? I know there is a book for kids/families too, and that intrigues me. I just don’t have my own little ones to check it out yet!
I am a tie between words of affirmation and acts of service. My fiance (soon to be husband – 11 days!) scored way high in physical touch, which is the one I scored the least in! Somehow, we balance eachother out perfectly and just knowing where eachothers strenghts and weaknesses are make us stronger.
I think the key is knowing what language your partner speaks so that you can a) show them love in that way, and b) understand the things they’re doing to show you love!
Happy almost wedding!
One of my really good friends had recently told me about this book! It sounds amazing and I can’t wait to read it…although with school starting tomorrow (eek!) it might be awhile….good to know that someone else loved the book as well!
I confess that I’ve only really skimmed the book. I just love the concepts and agree with them!
I am words of affirmation…or as I like to call it, positive reinforcement. Ha!
I crave that daily “good job” or “love you” badly…
[...] I have never seen a more selfless woman than my grandmother. She dotes on people with affection, kindness, and generosity. It is all straight from the heart. She goes out of her way to make sure all of her children and grandchildren know they are loved. (And all equally, of course.) I remember sleeping over at their house as a child and mentioning to my grandma that I wanted cereal for breakfast. When I woke up, every kind of cereal they had was neatly displayed on the kitchen table, bowl and spoon waiting for me beside them. If doting on her loved ones ever gets old or tiresome, she never lets it show. My grandmother definitely shows her love through acts of service. [...]
[...] I say that this mission is very possible? I thrive off of words of affirmation, after [...]